Back (Spencer Reid X Reader)

Author's Note: If you haven't seen the episodes where Reid is tortured and kidnapped, or the episodes following that where he develops a drug addiction, this probably won't make a whole lot of sense.

“__y/n__, Reid’s been kidnapped.”

It was those four little words that caused your heart to break and your world to crumble around you. Reid hadn’t wanted to date you originally, despite how much you both cared for each other; he knew that his job was dangerous and could put you in danger, but eventually, he gave in. And now, you really wished he hadn’t.

Your heart shattered, and you dropped the phone, running from the living room in yours and Reid’s apartment and into your shared bedroom. You stumbled on the bed, tears streaming down your face, burrowing into the blankets and praying that it was all a dream.

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It wasn’t. When you woke up a few hours later, the knowledge that Reid, your Reid, was missing, crashed into you, making you cry all over again. When you calmed yourself, you picked the phone up and called Garcia back.

She was reluctant to tell you what happened, you could tell, but you needed to know. However when you learned that he was being tortured, you hung up the phone again, and slumped back into the room, once again hoping to sleep your problems away.

You were weak, you couldn’t deal with this. Your boyfriend of nearly two years, the love of your life, your Reid, was in pain. You woke up sobbing, having dreamed about Reid dying in painful, terrible ways.

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Reid groaned in pain, his head lolling to the side as he tried to stay awake.

The Dilaudid in his system was working quickly, making it hard to remain conscious. He didn’t want to sleep, when he slept, he remembered.

He remembered sending his mother away even though she begged him not to, he remembered how much it hurt that his father left him, he remembered how much he loved you.

Reid fell asleep with a whimper, the physical pain fading while the emotional pain started.

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It had been a full 24 hours since Reid had gone missing, and you didn’t know how much more of this you could take.

You hated not knowing what was happening, and so, after showering and changing into a fresh set of clothes, you left the apartment. You drove to the house of the unsub that Garcia had told you in case you needed a shoulder to cry on, deciding that being around Garcia would help cheer you up.

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Being with Garcia was a lot better than being alone, until videos of Reid getting tortured started popping up all over the unsub’s computer screens.

When that would happen, you would exit the room silently, find some empty room, and start sobbing all over again.

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When the team went out to go find Reid, you insisted on coming along. They denied you at first, it was too dangerous, you were a civilian, but you were persistent and they needed to get to Reid, so they let you come along.

You had to wait until they made sure it was safe though, so you didn’t get to see Reid first. You didn’t get to hug Reid first either, but that was okay.

When they at last decided it was safe, you ran to Reid, hugging him tightly but as gently as possible, you knew he was still in pain.

You kissed him, not caring about the members of the BAU or the officers who were watching; your Reid was back, he was bruised, emotionally and physically, but he was alive.

And for now, that was all that mattered.

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A few weeks after Reid’s kidnapping, you noticed that he was different. He was jumpy, he would zone out, and he had nightmares.

The nightmares were what worried you the most though, he would wake up sobbing and shaking, and nothing you did would make a difference. Reid would excuse himself to the bathroom and when he returned, he was calm. It worried you though, what could he possibly be doing to make him this relaxed?

You considered asking him about it, but you decided to wait and see if he went back to normal.

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Waiting was a terrible thing for you to do, which you realized a few months later when you found Dilaudid hidden in a drawer, and saw needle marks on one of his arms.

“Reid, why didn’t you tell me?” You asked sadly, tears filling your __e/c__ eyes. Reid felt terrible for doing this, a shaky hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch, a quiet sob escaping your lips.

“I didn’t want anyone to know. I-I didn’t want you to leave me.” Reid said hesitantly, his lower lip quivering.

“Spencer, I would never leave you. Ever. I love you. We’re going to get through this,” You said softly, grabbing his hand and entwining your fingers with his. “Together.”

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You heard Reid whimpering and felt him stirring next to you, immediately moving over to him and gently shaking him awake. He awoke with a cry, his brown eyes wide and fearful. He was shaking slightly, and your heart broke, as it did every time he had a nightmare.

“Honey,” You whispered softly. “It’s me. You’re okay, you’re home, you’re safe.”

“__y/n__?”

“It’s me, Spence.” You answered, your hands cupping his cheeks and making him look at you. You pressed your lips to his gently, allowing Reid to relax into the kiss.

Reid had been clean for several months now, and this was the new way you helped Reid relax. It was the only thing you had thought to do the first time Reid had a nightmare after he quit, and it had just become habit.

You pulled away after a few minutes, leaving Reid gasping for breath as you leaned your forehead against his. You gently laid Reid back onto the bed, your arms wrapping around him protectively. Your nose nuzzled into his neck, your mouth leaving gentle kisses along his jaw.

“I love you.” You whispered softly, thinking Reid had already fallen back asleep. Reid turned so that he was facing you, kissing you sweetly, his fingers tangling themselves in your hair.

“I love you so much.” Reid said when he pulled away, his breath tickling your face. “Thank you, for everything.” He added, pressing his lips to yours again briefly. You rubbed your nose against his, before snuggling into his chest, relieved once again to have Reid back, for real this time.

End.  <3